wake part 2

Thanks so so so so much to everyone who came by on Saturday. Thanks for all the foodmaking, hug-giving and just for the hang. It was really great to see everyone and just be together.

I now have food for an army in my house (thanks again!) and a lot of it is perishable, so for anyone who wasn't able to make it on Saturday or, ya know, feels like coming again, please stop by tomorrow night - say from 7pm on. I have many beers and bottles of wine too. No need to bring anything! Check the last post for address info.  

Thanks!

today - reminder

Just wanted to make sure everyone around New York knows that I'm hosting a wee wake of sorts (though we're not Catholic) for the Mama today. It's an open house sort of deal, so just come when you're able, any time after 1pm. Feel free to bring food, drink, hugs, stories and photos - we'll have a bit of all that here already but can always use more.

My address:
59 East 3rd Street #5D, between 1st and 2nd Aves. Nearest subways: 6 train at Bleecker, F train at 2nd Avenue.

Also. We've been getting a lot of questions about donations in lieu of flowers, and whether or not Mom had a charity or organization in mind. We've not decided yet, as she didn't tell us anything specific, but we're thinking that something in the arena of the theater would be obviously appropriate. If anyone has ideas they'd like to contribute as we make that decision, they'd be most welcome.

Thanks guys. Hope to see some of you later. Much love.

a funny thing happened today

Some of you know that I had a catering job today and decided not to cancel it, instead choosing to do a really strange, extreme version of people-die-and-then-we-make-food. The menu was big and labor-intensive; I asked friends to come help me achieve it all, and they did--my kitchen was full of people into the night, and we got it all done. It was great to cook, it seemed like just the right thing.

Today I arrived at the job with food for 100 people, only to discover that...the party is not on May 1. It's May 31. So--if you're in the Bay Area, please come over tonight to eat food. It's 256 Hartford Street, from 5:00 pm or so.

I can't imagine a more perfect way to have people over to remember her.

official memorial set

Mom's memorial will be Tuesday May 20th at 11am at my church job home, St. James' Church. St. It's located at 865 Madison between E. 71st and E. 72nd and all are welcome.  We'll have a reception afterward at Jimmy's Corner, one of Mom's favorite favorite bars (this was one of her many wishes regarding the memorial).  Leave it to Janet Ward to encourage early afternoon drinking on a Tuesday. 

Thanks everyone.  Hope to see some of you on Saturday.

new york unofficial memorial

As Jenn mentioned, the official memorial for Mom will be in a few weeks, but this weekend I think it would be a good good thing for everyone who's in New York to come together and love on one another a bit.  

If you feel so inclined, please come by my East Village apartment this coming Saturday.  We'll have an unofficial Janet Ward celebration.  I have a studio apartment, but I had a wine party here a few years ago and the place was packed, so we'll make it work.

Feel free to bring food, wine, whisky or just yourselves, your pictures and your stories. I'm feeling a strong need for the people. I know there are so many who love her and were impacted by her energy and spirit in a totally inexpressible and profound way, so stop by if you can any time after 1pm this Saturday, May 3rd. It'll just be an open house so come by, on into the evening. I'm at 59 East 3rd Street #5D, between 1st and 2nd Avenues.

Thanks all for everything you've done and continue to do.  Love love and love.

she's gone

She died today, around 3:00 this afternoon Eastern Time, surrounded by many visitors, and very peacefully. My cousin Danielle described her passing as: "she breathed in, and breathed out. Breathed in, breathed out. Breathed in, breathed out. And then we waited for her to take another breath, and she just didn't." So, it was as peaceful as we could have wished for, and she got her wish of not having a long time as a sick person, and now she's just photos and poems and the bits of us that she made better.

There will be a service in New York sometime during the week of May 23. Her remains are being donated to medical research, according to her wishes. If you're on the west coast and want to come to a memorial of some kind out here, let me know--I'll probably host something informal at my house, possibly in a week and a half or so. Sarah will likely have people over on Saturday sometime, but I'll let her post about that.

Love to all.

getting close

From all Sarah's accounts (I've been away from New York since Friday), she's been much worse ever since transferring to Calvary: it reached the point today where she isn't really eating or drinking anything, even when a straw is held to her lips. She doesn't talk, but makes appreciative noises (the infamous-in-our-family "hmmmm") when someone is reading or playing something she likes. Sarah asked the doctor there today the time question, and got an alarming answer: 24 to 72 hours. Hours. We're taking her assessment with a grain of salt, since she's only known Mom for a week, but she is starting to act like she's on her way out, and we've never been through anything like this before, but it doesn't seem like it will be long.

Other people have these months-long dying processes, or get diagnosed with alarming cancers and continue to live for many months afterward, but this has just been one horrifying downward, smoke-spewing spiral. We have all (including her) said since the beginning that if she can have her life back, we want that, but we don't want some endless-seeming suffering. "I feel like I'm turning into something else," she said to Sarah and me while we were waiting for the second spinal tap a few mere weeks ago. It's hard to face what's coming, though.

Visitors are still welcome, though the food mentioned in Sarah's last post might be moot at this point. Love.