donation option #2

For those who would rather donate toward medical research, we are encouraging donations to Memorial Sloan Kettering. All three of us are a little bit in love with MSK. They took such good care of our Mom. Every ounce of that place is amazing. 

We've specified that donations made in her honor go toward lung cancer research. Cancer is everywhere. The work is important - it need not be emphasized.

If you'd like to donate online you can do so here. Please be sure to specify under "Tributes and Special Occasions" that the gift is in memory of Janet Ward. We will be able to track donations, but only those that are specifically given in her honor.

As an alternative, you may send a check with "in the memory of Janet Ward" in the memo line to:

Memorial Sloan-Kettering

Attn: Danielle Burke

633 Third Avenue, 28th Floor

New York, NY  10017

Thanks all.  Much love.

donation option #1

Holy hell it's been a month today.

Anyway.

For those who've inquired about donations in Mom's name, here's the first option.  I'll hopefully post info later this week about the second (lots of phone tag going on).

Intentional Theater is a theater company helmed by Miriam Eusebio, Mom's cherished friend and fabulous director of the February 2009 NYC production of Happy Days.  The role of Winnie, which of course was to have been played by Mom, will now be played by her dear friend, Asta Hanson. Miriam told me that if Asta couldn't do it, they probably wouldn't have gone on with the production. It means a lot that someone who loved Mom and knew her well will take over the role. 

Donations to Intentional Theater will help with production costs and will help secure the rights. As many of you know (and especially Jennifer, who has boxes of his books to prove it), Samuel Beckett was near and incredibly dear to Mom's heart, as was this production.  A donation to Intentional is very Janet Ward.

Here's the pertinent donation info from Intentional Theater:

Intentional Theater can accept tax deductible donations through our fiscal sponsor, The Field*. If you would like to donate to us in this way, please write a check made out to "The Field" with "Intentional Theater" in the memo. Mail the check to Intentional Theater at the address below.

Intentional Theater

175 5th Avenue #26

Brooklyn, NY  11215

*The Field is a not-for-profit, tax-exempt, 501 (c) (3) organization serving the New York City performing arts community.  Contributions made to The Field and earmarked for Intentional Theater are tax deductible to the extent allowed by law. For more information about The Field contact: The Field, 161 6th Avenue, New York, NY 10013, (212) 691-6969, fax: (212) 255-2053, www.thefield.org. email: info@thefield.org. A copy of The Field's latest annual report may be obtained, upon request, from The Field or from the Office of the Attorney General, Charities Bureau, 120 Broadway, New York, NY 10271.

memorial info and donations

So we are all set for the memorial this Tuesday, May 20th, at St. James' Church. The actual service will start at 11am, but the choral prelude, performed by members of the Compostela Choir, will begin sometime before that. I would encourage anyone who wants to hear the prelude (which will be amazing) to try to get to the church by 10:30 or 10:45. St. James' is located at 865 Madison Avenue, between 71st and 72nd Streets, on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. There will be a reception following the service in Sunderland Hall, located in the parish hall adjacent to the church. We will also plan a Jimmy's Corner hang for later in the afternoon/early evening.

The family will provide flowers for the church, so we are asking that those who would like to contribute something please check back here in the next few days, as we are still finalizing details. We will most likely present several options for donation, since Mom was ever the multifaceted girl. Information will be posted shortly though, so please do check back.  

Also - on a personal note - I just want to thank everyone who sent me a sympathy card over these past weeks.  I got home from San Francisco last night and had a really good cry, reading all of your sweet sweet notes and sentiments.  I really appreciate the love and support. Hope to see many of you on Tuesday. Thanks.

boxes of stuff

First, thanks so much to everyone who came out on Sunday to the west coast memorial for Mom, and especially to Alison Tassie for organizing and hosting. I'd never been to the Exit Theatre before but as soon as I walked in I thought, "oh yeah. this is her."

It was great to meet new faces and hear virtual strangers (among some very familiar faces) talk so poignantly about Mom and how much she impacted their lives. Her reach was great - we knew this. But Jenn and I were talking today, and we realized it's actually comforting to know that we're not the only ones walking around right now, wondering how the world is still in fact spinning.

So, among the guests on Sunday was a family that we have known for a very long time. The Arntsons lived down the street from us on Harmony Place for many years, and when we moved in Lenore (the mama) and our Mom became fast friends. They maintained their close friendship through many life changes, and before Mom moved to New York she asked Lenore & Dick to keep some of her boxes at their house in Morro Bay, near San Luis Obispo. They not only drove up to the memorial on Sunday (along with their daughter Shawna and her husband Don) but also brought six of Mom's boxes with them, to give to us.

Jennifer and I spent most of the day and night yesterday going through everything. We missed having Clancy here for that, especially since we ran across tons of our writings, artwork, photos, etc. that of course Mom kept for all these years. But we're saving stuff for him! Even more interesting than all of our stuff was the huge pile of letters we found. Mom was really close to her Grandma Ward (the original one!) and wrote her many many MANY letters over the years. When her Grandma Ward passed away, Mom apparently retrieved all of those letters from G'ma Ward's house and has kept them with her ever since. It was pretty great stuff and really made us feel more connected to her in a powerful way. She wrote letters from Pasadena, from Hollywood, from New York in the '60s, from Newport in the '50s, and it seemed like she felt a freedom to really be herself in those letters, no matter what. Pretty great.

So now we have lots more pictures of Mom, but having so much of her writing in our grubby little hands is just a gift we never anticipated. Don't get me wrong though - I love pictures! Attached is a picture of a picture - we're guessing it's from 1959 or 1960 and we love it! Dig the fish dress.

Also, for those who haven't yet heard, the official occupation listed on the Death Certificate: poet.

whoah st. james'

So I met with Craig Townsend today, the Associate Rector at St. James', and Davis Wortman, the Director of Music (my boss) there. All I can say is wow and whoah.  I'm just blown away by the love and generosity everyone at St. James' has shown me in preparation for this memorial. I really think this service will be beautiful and cathartic.

And speaking of love and generosity, I'm so honored that members of the Compostela Choir, the all-pro group I sing with at St. James', are donating their time and performing a choral prelude to the service. Davis and I hand-picked the music today (Byrd, Purcell, Howells, etc. - good stuff!). Mom would be thrilled, of that I am sure. The service will be structured with jazz and poetry as its centerpiece.  And while some of the things on Mom's wishlist are impossible for the actual service, I do think that everything we're doing will honor her and remain true to who she is and what she wants.

I look forward to seeing everyone on the east coast there May 20th, 11am, and I'm soooo ready to spend the coming week in San Francisco with Jenn, Dan & the kids.  Can't wait to squeeze them all! So glad I'll be there for the west coast memorial on Sunday too. Hopefully it'll make Mother's Day a little more bearable. Exit Theatre: perfection.

san francisco memorial

The lovely Alison Tassie has scored the Exit Theatre as a venue for us to hold a memorial in San Francisco this coming Sunday (yes, Mother's Day, whee) at 5:00 in the evening. The Exit is at 156 Eddy St between Mason and Taylor. Do me a favor and post a quick comment if you're planning to attend, and please pardon the double-inviting if you also get an email from Alison or me; I'm trying to find all the west coast folks who might want to gather in mom's honor. As for what we'll do, I think it will be some combination of reading her poems and sharing stories. There will be some sort of food and drink, too.

The St. James event on the 20th will be quite a different affair; some of you know that she had very specific wishes for her memorial service, involving mainly poems and music (including, in a last embarrassing-mom move, two that I wrote for her in my early twenties) and recordings of music that she loved. However, they don't so much allow recorded music at St. James, and they have certain prayers they like to say and verses they like to read. So the service in New York will be quite a bit churchier than we were originally planning, but we think it will be good to gather everyone together and send her off with a bit of pomp and hereafter. She wants us all to go to Jimmy's Corner, as well, but we don't think she realized that "all of us" is likely to amount to more than the 40 people that can fit in Jimmy's Corner, so we will have a little reception in the church basement first so that we can accommodate everyone. Diehards will meet at Jimmy's Corner later.

Edited to add: the Exit invite is here. It's open, and I'm sure I forgot people, so feel free to send it to others you think would like to be there.

one last call for a place to stay

We're making travel plans for this one last trip to New York, and we're running up against the usual problem: where can we put two grownups and two small kids in space-scarce New York City? If you have any leads, we'd love to know about them. Clancy and family have a place already, which is great. We'll be there from the 19th to the 23rd, or around there.

Sarah is going to come to San Francisco this week. It'll be good to be with her. And finally, stay tuned for news about a San Francisco memorial or wake or whatever I manage to figure out--possibly at the Edinburgh Castle, where Mom performed a few plays back when she lived here.

Bah.

wake part 2

Thanks so so so so much to everyone who came by on Saturday. Thanks for all the foodmaking, hug-giving and just for the hang. It was really great to see everyone and just be together.

I now have food for an army in my house (thanks again!) and a lot of it is perishable, so for anyone who wasn't able to make it on Saturday or, ya know, feels like coming again, please stop by tomorrow night - say from 7pm on. I have many beers and bottles of wine too. No need to bring anything! Check the last post for address info.  

Thanks!

today - reminder

Just wanted to make sure everyone around New York knows that I'm hosting a wee wake of sorts (though we're not Catholic) for the Mama today. It's an open house sort of deal, so just come when you're able, any time after 1pm. Feel free to bring food, drink, hugs, stories and photos - we'll have a bit of all that here already but can always use more.

My address:
59 East 3rd Street #5D, between 1st and 2nd Aves. Nearest subways: 6 train at Bleecker, F train at 2nd Avenue.

Also. We've been getting a lot of questions about donations in lieu of flowers, and whether or not Mom had a charity or organization in mind. We've not decided yet, as she didn't tell us anything specific, but we're thinking that something in the arena of the theater would be obviously appropriate. If anyone has ideas they'd like to contribute as we make that decision, they'd be most welcome.

Thanks guys. Hope to see some of you later. Much love.

a funny thing happened today

Some of you know that I had a catering job today and decided not to cancel it, instead choosing to do a really strange, extreme version of people-die-and-then-we-make-food. The menu was big and labor-intensive; I asked friends to come help me achieve it all, and they did--my kitchen was full of people into the night, and we got it all done. It was great to cook, it seemed like just the right thing.

Today I arrived at the job with food for 100 people, only to discover that...the party is not on May 1. It's May 31. So--if you're in the Bay Area, please come over tonight to eat food. It's 256 Hartford Street, from 5:00 pm or so.

I can't imagine a more perfect way to have people over to remember her.

official memorial set

Mom's memorial will be Tuesday May 20th at 11am at my church job home, St. James' Church. St. It's located at 865 Madison between E. 71st and E. 72nd and all are welcome.  We'll have a reception afterward at Jimmy's Corner, one of Mom's favorite favorite bars (this was one of her many wishes regarding the memorial).  Leave it to Janet Ward to encourage early afternoon drinking on a Tuesday. 

Thanks everyone.  Hope to see some of you on Saturday.