Friday, March 28, 2008

a little clarification

I was a little vague yesterday about what "stable" means--it just means that the sum of the growth and shrinking of the various tumors and lesions is about zero. It's good, but it's not remission or anything.

Clancy and family made it from the Ohio-Indiana border to New Jersey with a completely hosed clutch, and then had to stop. There is some brave combination of trains and tow trucks happening around now, and we're all meeting in the morning if everything goes reasonably well. Dan and I and the girls fly back to San Francisco tomorrow night.

She's been feeling sort of awful since the day she came home from the hospital: throwing up at least once a day, and today she had a new pain, in her ribs. It's really tough to keep her hydrated, and I suspect that we're already falling behind on that. The question of the moment is whether to go through another round of chemotherapy, or to stop. On the one hand, stopping treatment feels like admitting defeat, facing death, saying goodbye. But, as mom says, "I want to live until I die." Her doctor really wants her to try at least one more round. The three kids will put heads together tomorrow morning and try to figure out what we all think--the final decision will of course be made by herself, and will likely happen next week, when she goes to see Dr. P again on Wednesday.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

how i love and admire all of you, janet's family, and your courage and strength and devotion as a family and individuals.

i have supported many friends through this decision in my work with folks with cancer, the decision of whether to accept treatment. the decision is so personal and so intense. janet is lucky to have such support as she makes this decision.

my experience has been that the period of sitting with the choice tends to me the most stressful for people. once a decision is made, one can flow with whatever follows. i hope that this is true for you, that there is some lightening that comes with making a choice.

love and blessings to you all,

kristie

polly said...

You are all on my mind constantly, and i check for news at every opportunity. i'm sending love your way, and hope it touches you. polly