Monday, March 24, 2008

the time question


Janet and Sarah
Originally uploaded by jecaly

Things have just kicked into high existential gear around here. I saw Dr. P. and her nurse Maureen in the hallway of the hospital today and we had one of those conversations you click past on daytime TV, with me asking about whether we can know yet how well her body's responding to chemo and how long does she have, and the doctor telling me that she has it really bad, that the tumor from her right lobe is growing so fast that it's in her neck now, and that the weekend doctor (one of the top guys in his field, recommended to us by lots of people when they heard she would be seen at MSKCC) wants to stop chemotherapy. Dr. P. is very thorough and careful, though, and so she wants to do two more tests before we decide whether to continue treatment. Mom had the second lumbar puncture aided by x-ray today (they did a great job; she had no pain. Both Sarah and I were there, standing guard by the door), and I think she had a CT scan about an hour ago, with Sarah there.

I think we'll have the results pretty soon. If there are cancer cells in her spinal fluid, and/or evidence that the chemotherapy isn't doing much, they'll stop treatment. If there is evidence that it's helping, we may continue. Either way, Dr. P's assessment is "weeks, months."

Just so all you who love her know: she doesn't want to be kept alive by artificial means. She doesn't want to be resuscitated. If there is some chance that she'll have some semblance of her life back, she wants that and will suffer through unpleasantness for it, but if there isn't, she will stop treatment.

Yes, we're all freaking out. Clancy's leaving Wisconsin on Thursday; my dad's making plans to come out, Lindsay arrives late this week, and I don't know what we're doing but at least Oona and I will probably stay.

6 comments:

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Hi guys,

If we wanted to visit your mom how would we go about doing that? Also, what is the best time/way to do that? I can't come up with suitable words to express my anger, frustration, sorrow, etc. Janet is such an incredible woman. Full of talent, creativity, energy, life, generosity, love, and courage. She's always been and continues to be an amazing inspiration to my Mom who's always been awed by her youthful zeal and determination to not let age be her enemy. It's utterly unfair that she has to deal something as idiotic as cancer. And I'm sure my feelings pale in comparison to what the two of you must be feeling. My love to both of you. Let me know about visiting.

-Jeremiah

jecaly said...

Visitors are most welcome! If you don't have a cold (or think you might be getting a cold, or have a sore throat, or a sniffle, or a cough, or probably allergies but you're not sure), you can head on over to 1275 York Street, Room 1420A, and hang out for a bit. We're not sure when she'll be discharged, so calling first might be a good idea. Despite all the dire talk, she's in pretty good spirits and loves to see friends.

judith said...

much much love from home to all of you.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sarah and Jennifer:
I just booked a ticket to come April 10th...I LOVE YOU JANET WARD...I'm coming guys. Should I come sooner?
Love
Bern

cnemec said...

Janet, Jennifer, Sarah, Clancy...sending much love to each of you. Janet, you are forever my hero, absolutely amazing!!! I love you so much! Wishing you many special moments of love and joy and a day with no pain. That is my prayer for you this day!
~Carla