Monday, April 7, 2008

first round of new radiation

So the Mama's pretty tired today.  I talked to her a few times post-radiation, and she sounded really really tired, said she just wants to sleep.  I think it went pretty well, although she did say it was hard.  I can't imagine.

They've moved her daily appointment up from 3pm to 9:30am, so at least she will get it over with early in the day.  They told us that radiation on the brain is a bit more exhausting (no surprise there I guess) than radiation on other parts, so I guess that's turning out to be true.

The docs also amped up her steroids again - she is now up to 16mgs a day.  The steroids supposedly help with the swelling in the brain, one of the primary causes of nausea for her these days.  The idea is that, once the swelling goes down, the nausea will subside, and maybe she'll feel better.  Hopefully the radiation will start to kick in/kick some ass soon too.

I'm just sad that she has to go through this.  It ain't right.  Choices in life should not be limited to nausea or exhaustion - especially not for Janet Ward.

In other news, I've decided to try to out a support group.  A social worker that I met with at Sloan in February (and will meet with again this week) suggested a support group, but at the time I really wasn't ready.  I think now I'm ready to hear what everyone else is going through. There are some options here and here. There are even some online support groups available, which is kind of intriguing. Might be scary and claustrophobia-inducing to be in a room with 10 other people whose moms, dads, siblings or kids have lung cancer. But we'll see - it's worth a shot.

14 comments:

Steven Patterson said...

Hey, sweet. You make sure your mom gets all the rest she needs. Pullin' hard for her down here & hoping the radiation and the steroids are gonna get her feeling un-exhausted and un-nauseated
REAL soon. Big love.

Unknown said...

My Dearest J - My Boo Boo,
Please know that you are in every waking (and sleeping) moment of my mind. I soooo want to come and be with you, sit with you, be silent or roar with you....unfortunately, I have a bit of an infection which will keep me away from you physically, but not mentally, emotionally or spiriutaly!!!! You are in my every waking thought and when I got to sleep at night i think of our late inght discussions of life, men, careers, fanily and other things (not to be mentioned due to triple X ratings :).
You look sooo beautiful not only physically but also the rays shining from your soul. I love you my J -, my 2nd'd mom because you have guided me though so much of what my mother has not. That is TRUE LOVE!!!!! love you lady and when I get well, I will come see you...tu es mon ispiration et mon couer!
Je t'aime ma meilleuere amie!!!
Je t'embrace!!!
Alexandra

Unknown said...

Please know that there was a computer malfunction with the post from David (my boyfriend)- it actually is from Alexandra Wise...I am sorry for the confusion...my love to you all...

judith said...

glad to hear there are options for support for you sarah, beyond those out here in the electronic realm. even remarkable strength such as yours can use some buoying at times.

jimmy said...

Sarah,
I'm a friend of Janet's through the theatre. I was just sent the link to your blog and got caught up on every word from day one of it. Having just finished, I am overwhelmed from the plethera of emotions the entries brought;from despair to hope, from anger to joy, begrudged to grateful. Most abounding, though is love. I can't imagine how you and your family must feel. I'm exhausted after tasting only a drop from the sea that has enveloped you and yours. I've always known that you were blessed to have such an incredible mother. It's so very warming and not surprising to see that she is equally blessed in turn. You, like Janet, are a beautiful warrior, a grounding force and a special light...You clearly carry Janet's torch.

On a more practical note, I remember a request from one of your entries for work for Clancy. If he's still of the mind to keep busy while here, I do have a small job that I could give him. Probably just a day's work, but maybe a welcomed distraction if he's looking for one.

My name is Jim Ireland and my # is 917.653.6371.

All of my thoughts, prayers, wishes and blessings are with you guys.

Anonymous said...

sarah, as i've mentioned before, i teach yoga to people with cancer here in san francisco. it's a mix of support group and yoga class, really. we get caregivers in class, too, and i've found that sometimes treatment is even harder on them than the patients because they don't have the physicality of the experience to keep their minds focused on. people say that the chance to come together with other folks who understand changes everything for them. the power of these people as they support one another is amazing. i feel strengthened by this community and i'm supposedly the leader! do try something out, and keep looking until you find the right group for you!

best of luck to you, brave girl, and so much love, admiration, and prayer,

kristie

Unknown said...

Sarah,
I think a support group is probably a great idea. I have heard very good things about Gilda's group from a friend in a similar situation. You are so brave and I admire you! Hang in there and know that we are all thinking of you and Janet and sending love your way.
Kat

teryll said...

i couldn't agree more, it sounds like some outside support could be useful on all fronts - what a powerful experience it could be? my best to you in the journey! and i'm glad janet managed to fight through the first round of radiation! kick cancer's ass!!!! woohoo!!!!

tmwolfe said...

Sarah,

I am also a friend of Janet (we are both part of a theatre company). Last week, I was sent the link to this blog. I've become quite absorbed with it. You are both so brave. Janet is so cool and so warm, grounded and incandescent. I can't think of anyone more beautiful. I love her and I'm praying for her and for you.

Tom

renajo said...

Please give Janet my love, I wish I could be there. I am so inspired by her strength and her three amazing children. If there is anything I can do from Oregon besides pray let me know.
Love and kisses
Rena

Unknown said...

Hey Sarah! I am so happy to hear youre taking good care of YOURSELF and your mom. Give her my love.

Unknown said...

Sarah -

You are such a pilar of strength to all of us who are involved in Janet's life. Thank you so much for keeping us all up to date and informed. Please know that you have touched everyone and that everyone is here for you, Jennifer & Clancy.
Much love & huge kisses & HUGS!!!!

KaraLee said...

Dear Sarah,
I too am a theatre friend of Janet's--one of a multitude--and I am so amazed by the strength of your family and the beautiful spirit that clearly you and Janet share. I am praying for Janet all the time and thinking such warm thoughts for her. (I've just rented a film she loves, La Jetee / Sans Soleil, specifically to honor her.) I hope to see her very soon. As soon as she's feeling well enough. Thank you for your courage and for sharing all you can with us about dear, dear Janet.

Kara

Gemma Whelan said...

Sarah,
Thank you for such a great update. Am so sorry Ms Janet is so tired - not surprising with such an assault on the brain.
Do get the care you need - you need to stay as healthy physically and emotionally as you can - Amazonian status does not make you completely immune!
I'm almost on the plane! Counting the days when I can finally make those hugs unvirtual!
Much love to you and Clancy and Jennifer
and of course to Janet.
Gemma