Monday, April 21, 2008

stopping treatment

Well, we knew this was coming, but it doesn't make it any easier: she's too sick to have chemotherapy, too sick to do anything, really--so they're stopping treatment. She'll be moved to Calvary Hospital (which could SO have a better name) in the Bronx, the best place for in-patient "palliative care," apparently. She'll have her own room. She'll have different doctors, whose job it will be to keep her comfortable. Dr. P, when pressed, said that she didn't think Mom would live two months. She'll likely be there by the end of the week, so check here for updates before going to visit.

She'll be moving out of her apartment, so if you want to help with that, there will be opportunity over the next few weeks. If anyone has moving boxes laying about, we can use them--for now, we're just working on moving the complete works of Samuel Beckett to her new room, but later we'll be actually packing stuff to move out.

Sorry for the dull tone of this--we're heartbroken and exhausted, and I can't think of a better way to say it.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I share your heartbreak and offer my love and longdistance hugs. You are so brave and so strong, all of you. May the next few months have some sweetness for you amidst the pain.

Ben said...

Sad day for certain. Knowing it's coming didn't seem to make it any easier so I can only imagine your own heartbreak. Sending my love to all of you -- Janet, Sarah, Jennifer and Clancy. Trying to make sense of the nonsensical... See you tomorrow.

melissa bug said...

Well theres nothing better to say than it just fucking sucks! Words I don't use too often but seem to be appropriate to this news. I can't quite put my feelings into words that will fly over the vast expanse of the internet to you all, Janet, Sarah, Jennifer and Clancy. Boy I wish I could fly over and be there. Well the best I can think of to pray for you are wonderful days of sunshine, joy, love, laughs , saying all the things that haven't been said, looking at picture albums, reminicing, and loving the life that is left. Live in the now. I love you all tremendously and will continue praying. Love Melissa

erm said...

My love to you all. It is not easy at all. It really sucks.
Thank God Janet, Gary and I had such a great visit. Please let me know when the move out of her place will be. The Roses will all help.

Unknown said...

So sorry to hear this latest news. I hope to visit Janet tomorrow when I am in NYC, so please do keep us updated on her location. Please continue to match her strength to get through this difficult time. XOXO, Lisa

Unknown said...

Whatever you need I am there for you! Just name it. I am crushed by this news but determined to keep her smile coming and that laughter going despite it all.

Charlie Roberts said...

Janet, Sarah, Jenifer and Clancy, thinking about you daily. This recent news is not easy.
I would love to be around to help in any way needed.
-jase

alison tassie said...

I am so sad for all of you and words are completely inadequate - just thinking of you all so much and sending lots of love.
Alison

cat said...

It is impossible to say anything. LOVE.

Anonymous said...

This is very sad indeed. This is just not fucking right. Jennifer Sarah and Clancy, thank you so much for letting us know and taking care of Janet with such love. She knows how much she is loved. When would be a good time to come out. I was thinking the 2nd week in May....Are you moving out by the end of April? I'll call you.

KaraLee said...

Heartbreaking indeed. For what it's worth, I want to send all of you my love, support, and unending prayers. It just isn't fair.
I know we've never met, but Jennifer and Sarah, I'd be happy to stay with Oona for a night. I know it isn't much, but if it would bring you even momentary relief, please let me know.
My name is Kara and my cell number is 646-209-4943.
With love and hope always,
kara

renajo said...

Janet,Jennifer, Sarah and Clancy
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I could be there to give you all a big hug!
Love to you all, Rena

Kerry said...

I am so sad about this. Sending all my love to all of you.

T.M. Wolfe said...

This is so awful. I don't know what to say. I just want to send my love to all of you. And I will certainly help with moving things, anything you need.

Love,
Tom
(646)785-1058

Dale said...

This is not believable. There was no knowing it was coming. Janet Ward has lived two lifetimes, and continues to live vibrantly in her smiles, her laughter, and her stories. Janet, I think of you every hour of my day. Thank goodness for Sarah, Jennifer, and Clancy. You all are so strong and brave and are making all the difference. Thank you!

I've got boxes. When would be good to drop them off?
-Dale

jmss said...

oh. i do not know what to write, but wanted to let you know that you are all in my mind and heart. Janet Ward, I have not had the pleasure of as much of your company as these many friends whom I see writing here, but when I met you made Such An Impression. Love. Love. Love.

csn said...

This day I feel an absolute loss for words. Janet, you on the other hand have always been so eloquent in expressing your thoughts. A wonderful gift you've passed on to your children (as evidenced in "the blog".) Do you know I have saved every letter, card, note that you've ever sent me? Your words are always such an inspiration. Janet, you have made my life so much richer. No one has ever read poetry to me like Janet Ward! You are such a creative force in my life and in the lives of so many others. The authors, poets, plays, movies, music you've shared with me...absolutely unforgettable! Then there's your laughter, your smile, your heart! If ever there was a "Phenomenal Woman" that would be you, dear JANET! You are the strongest and bravest person I have ever known. An amazing friend that has loved, encouraged and stood beside me no matter what. I love you more and more each and every day. Bless you, my dear friend, thank you for sharing your love and life with me...I am honored! Sending love and prayers to you, Jennifer, Sarah and Clancy. And a great big hug especially for you, dear Janet!

Steven Patterson said...

Oh, babies. So, so heartsick. I'm back in the city this coming Monday and you KNOW John & I are there to do WHATEVER is needed. Don't hesitate to let us know. No other words.

Gemma Whelan said...

Sarah, Jennifer, Clancy,
I am so saddened by this ominous news and add voice to the others offering love and support in the weeks ahead.
Janet, I am looking at your headshot with the beaming smile right now (it's above my desk). That spirit will never die.
Love to you all,
Gemma

JenCooper said...

I am sooo sorry for the news. Please know my hands are all yours and you can store or keep things in my appartment until you have a place for them. Please let me know when you need my help. I love all of you with every piece of my heart.

Love Jennifer Cooper

papagnome said...

I am so sorry to hear this. If there is anything I can do from the left coast, dont hesitate to ask! Thinking of your whole family often.

Love,

~ap said...

oh dear girl, i am so sorry. sending the biggest, warmest hugs and strength along the distance to you. love love love and love to you and your whole family

~anastasia

polly said...

jennifer and sarah, i am also heartbroken and at a loss for words. God bless you for all you've been doing to help your mother through the past few months. love and hugs, polly

Unknown said...

Damn, damn, damn, damn. It simply isn't fair and I can't seem to find the sense in any of it at this point. We are both thinking of you always and sending all the love we have. Stay strong. Your family and friends are with you, albeit, not always in body but most definitely in spirit.
-S & J

Anonymous said...

i can not put into words my feelings any better than melissa bug's "it fucking sucks". amen, to that, sister. i whole-heartedly agree. sometimes those are the only words that convey the depth of feeling. this being one of "those" times. love. love. love.

Malachy Walsh said...

Love. Love. Love. Love.

I don't know anything else to say.

Except more of it. A lot more.