We took a tour of the place and here's some of the information we have:
- she'd have her own private 12x12 room and a shared bathroom (one other patient)
- her stuff can be all over the room, just not taped to the walls
- visitors are allowed 24/7, kids of all ages included
- there's an outdoor terrace
- the ratio of nurses to patients is 1:8
- her doctor (no longer Pietanza, once she's in the facility - sadness) would check on her once a day, and she'd also be under the care of a dietician
- there are 4 floors of patients, with 50 patients on each floor
- The Bronx is really annoying and desolate and far far away
So tomorrow we'll go to Brooklyn, where the Calvary Hospital hospice facility is made up of only 25 beds in an actual hospital. The appeal to us of hospice in actual hospital rather than hospice-only lies with the "some people are getting up out of bed, going home and getting better" concept - something about that energy swirling about makes us hopeful, or more hopeful at least, for Mom's contentment.
The trip to the Bronx was almost an hour exactly (bus and train included) from the 68th St subway station to Calvary Hospital. We'll see how it goes tomorrow - we're going in the morning.
As a side note: for those who may have known about my upcoming gig at Bar Next Door on Monday the 28th, just wanted to let you know that I'm canceling. Things are just too raw, and the thought of losing it in front of an audience, or when given hugs by any of those audience members: blech. Can't deal. Maybe part of it too is that Mom has been to so many gigs of mine, and although she suggested that I just leave out all tracks from my album as a way to avoid tears - well, it's a nice thought, but every song reminds me of her.
4 comments:
Sarah dear, you are a mom's dream, as is Jennifer and Clancy. Your thoughts about the Bronx seem very, very clear. I hope for all of you that Brooklyn can be the one...people getting up and leaving healthy - yes,indeed,good, good energy.
Janet told me about the gig. I was hoping to attend but I think you are right in your decision. Thank you for the continued update. Tons of love your way comes...Give Gary a kiss for me, too.
Sarah, whatever you feel is right for you IS...You have my full support. I hope the place in Brooklyn is better situated and easier to get to...All love and support to you. I joined a healing circle on MYSPACE and I asked the people who are from all over the world to pray for Janet. Let me know if there is anything I can do. When is a good time to see her? After she is moved or do you need me to come sooner.
Sarah -- I'm a friend of Allison Yates and she has shared your story and blog with me. Perhaps he has forwarded on to you some of what she and I have discussed about your mother. I'm so sorry for what you are going through and you have my greatest sympthathies.
My wife and I live in Brooklyn, and my mother-in-law, Dena, passed away from lung cancer in late December. When the decision came to stop treatment, Calvary was promoted as the best possible hospice care in NYC. After researching options, we concluded that, indeed, Calvary was the best choice, and so off to the Bronx she went. (We also hoped for a space in the Brooklyn facility but they are very hard to come by.)
Universally, we feel that Calvary was the best possible choice under the circumstances. Though the haul to the Bronx is a drag, that was far outweighed by the treatment Calvary offered. They took incredible care of Dena, were totally warm and sympathetic to her and her visitors, and treated her with great diginity. We are all extremely grateful for their help in what was a truly horrible time.
If Janet is unable to get into the Brooklyn location, you may want to look into renting a car for a month or something so that you can get up to the Bronx more quickly. Early in the morning is best to avoid traffic. Though we didn't exploit this when Dena was there, there is one largely old-school Italian neighborhood in the Bronx that may be of interest for lunch, etc., on Arthur Avenue -- apparently not too far from Calvary.
Good luck with everything.
We had at-home hospice for my mom, who passed on April 5. But I think the same thing applies -- the staff is there to make Janet and her family as comfortable and supported as they can possibly be. I know you already know this and are doing this, but I just wanted to emphasize, based on our experience, that it is really important to ask each and every question that you have. I hope she'll feel taken care of in that environment, and I'm always thinking of you guys.
And I really hate that this is happening.
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